Today is my last year as a high school student; the last year I embrace my selfishness and awkward freedom; the last year I’ll be bullied by the jocks and cheerleaders; the last year I’ll be entering the Science and Math Fair; the last year I’ll be able to see his face. Quite a lonely year to start with, but this Senior year, is just the beginning.
First day of the last year: soccer players were talking about their jerseys and what Beckham quote will they print; the cheerleaders were wondering if they’ll still go to college, while other ex-cheerleaders were getting worried about their pregnancy; the rich kids are having no trouble at all – just where to start with their awesome golden life, I guess. While me and my best friend, Mia, are thinking of what course to take and I was receiving lots of pressure since I was running for valedictorian. Everybody was buzzing about college. Well, not really everybody ‘coz only about 60% of us are going to college. That’s quite the sad part.
And the worse part? History class early in the morning. Oh, nothing is worse than listening to what dead people did hundred years ago. They’re all buried and I guess the teacher just can’t move on and haven’t heard the quote “Past is Past.”
“Hey, Mia. Come over at home later, I just need some help on some stuff.” I whispered while my eyes were still stuck on the teacher so he wouldn’t notice and call my attention in the middle of the class, then Mia just nodded her head as if agreeing to whatever he was speaking.
“So that’s it for today.” Those were the sweetest words I ever heard from Mr. Eleguen. Oh, I could smell Math class – so sweet.
As soon as he spoke those words, everybody busted out the doors obviously have been wanting to do so for the past hour. And so did I.
As I took my first step out, and faced toward my right in a really slow motion like as if I could feel the wind on my ears as it blows every strand of my hair. And bit by bit, my smile appears. There lay a handsome creature. So perfectly made like what they see on movies. Tall, tan, brown eyes and the most gorgeous smile that was unconsciously seductive.
I could hear my every heartbeat, like as if it was the sound of his foot steps coming closer to me. I look at him as if everything was in slow motion and his every movement was taking like forever. I could feel my eyes blinking and every time I open them, there still stood the most amazing, most perfect, most elegant looking human being ever made. “Oh, God.” That was all I could utter. That was just the only expression I could speak. When actually if I could just put to words some of what I feel and tell him “Every time I look at you, my heart beats twice than it should, my nerves are shaking, my mind is sending electric vibes all over my body and my lungs are rioting inside me.” But if I do, maybe he’ll just stare at me and… walk away.
“Stop it now, Cassy.” That voice was obviously Mia’s ‘coz she hates it every time I stare at him like this – and I hate it every time she make me feel she hates it.
I exhaled a huge amount of carbon dioxide and inhaled a new set of oxygen to calm me down and all the nerves inside me.
“Math class is up next, you’ll have 3 hours to stare at him.” She said, giving me smile together with my notebook. But that kind of ‘you can join the stare-athon if you want’ stare. Just then again, I pulled my shoulders down and my hopes together.
“I should go tell him before graduating.” That idea just kind of popped into my brain while walking down the corridor and thought about the past 3 years that I have been secretly in love with him.
“Like he would care.” Yea. Like he would, Mia. But what if he will? Will you do anything about it?! HUH?!
“I know right, like he would care. But you know, it won’t hurt if I try.”
“Don’t do it, okay? You know what’s gonna happen.”
She was right. Mia is my best friend. She opens my mind to what my heart tries to deny. But since we were all going to different colleges, I could “move on” from this little high school love I’m feeling.
***
Math class with Mrs. Ceolo is always and forever the best. Now, I could start my stare-athon since she’s has always been dumber than the book. But before I could start, there’s one thing I have been waiting to happen.
“Hey, I’m Justin.” Then, KABLAM! My heart started a race again, having like forever laps to finish! This always happens every first Math class of every year. Should I be happy about this? Like he was introducing himself to me over and over again every year, it’s like the only way I could talk to him and touch his hand; or should be sad, really really sad about this, ‘coz he can’t remember me. So just take a pick, it doesn’t matter.
“Cass—“
“Hey, man! Later tonight at my place! It’s gonna be big!”
And this part usually happens, where some stranger barges into the conversation and ruins the love in the air. But also wakes me up that there was no love, just pure air. Air that I wish would suffocate whoever barges into our intimate conversation.
So I just knew what to do, simply move back and act as if it didn’t happen. Though there was a part of me waiting that he’ll face me again and continue the conversation, I wake myself up to the fact that he won’t. So here I am again, feeling all the insecurities life could offer me.
***
“You know, I was thinking about Law School
“Law School
“Can’t you be a little supportive here?”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Why law? I never knew you were into those kind of—things.” Giving her whatever imagination she could think of of the word “things” when I was actually meant… some other stuff.
“We both know there’s just the two of us running for valedictorian, right? We’re like belonging to the most intelligent people, and fortunate enough to go to college. We got scholarships to feed us. Better make the best of it.”
“Yeah. But, that doesn’t mean taking up something you have no interest in.”
“I like law.” She said forcing herself to look as convincing as possible. I wasn’t convinced, not at all. But I’m kind of convinced with the fact that she might have someone in mind that’s why she’s taking up law and I need to talk her out of it.
“Whoever he is, getting in the same college won’t make any difference.” I’m not pointing any finger at anybody—except myself. Getting down to the fact that college is also a way to change and become a whole new person, not to stuck and rot with some fancy secret love.
“Whatever, Cassy. What’s the purpose of going to college? We’ll end up as little house mothers with irresponsible husbands and truckloads of stubborn kids that we can’t even handle. So I would better choose some rich, handsome guy who can afford to get some nanny for my kids and chefs and chauffeurs and whatever. Cassy,” she paused and there was the imaginary drum roll we both hear, “that’s the point of college.” She ended with a loud whisper, ironically.
So here it is, you may think that Mia sounded like she has no interest in going to college, we’ll in fact, yeah, she doesn’t. She’s not into books, and reading and stuff. But she has this overrated Mathematical gift that even how hard she tries to sleep during math class, she still gets the highest score (even sometimes I do). I don’t know how it happened, or maybe she’s some freaky science experiment.
